A Summer Storm
A Pantoum
This is a summer storm
Wind's whipping all about
Blowing sheets of rain
Trees are following behind them
Wind's whipping all about
Summer flowers are bending in the wind
Trees are following behind them,
As the rain continues to fall
Summer flowers are bending in the wind
While the absence of thunder deafens anybody listening
As the rain continues to fall,
It caresses the page I'm writing on.
While the absence of thunder deafens anybody listening,
Rain is still falling onto the ground.
It caresses the page I'm writing on.
This is a summer storm.
If you have never heard or written a pantoum before here is a website that will explain it. http://www.helium.com/items/154714-how-to-write-a-pantoum-poem
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you might find a different way of saying . . .
It caresses the page I'm writing on
you say it twice right after the other and it's a bit awkward but not bad so if you want to keep it that's fine it's not gonna murder your work.
very nice job!! this really reminded me of windy days at my house! and i got a FULL IMAGE in my head!! that NEVER happens to me.
I'm so proud of you *tear*
I read your poem just as a summer storm raged outside my home. The sounds, the imagery the poem evoked echoed what I was experiencing, turning it into a moment of "Wow". My own thoughts about storms were compounded by your words, and in their simplicity, I found the heart of the storm. Thank you.
The contrast ideas looks fantastic!!!
ok, having a Summer in a Storm is very unusual. But, when the poem started, It's like wow! cool!
I can see the imagery and wonderful scenery on your poem especially in this stanza:
Honestly, it defies a joyous day while you are writing this.
Keep it up!
I love this style of poetry. It kind of reminds me of a villanelle...
OOH and I loved this line:
Anyways, keep writing :]]]
-Ace
I like the unconventional structure, but I think you relied on it a bit too much. Like you meant to spotlight the structure but lost imagination in the actual description of the summer storm because of it.
Hi Morgan. I just wanted to let you know you have an extraordinary poem here.